Day 8

It really wasn't a huge meltdown yesterday, but I do think it qualified as a tantrum. And who can blame the little guy? Everything is so new and different. There's so much to learn. 

We actually had a really good day yesterday. We're making progress with the bucket of water and the bath toys. He's definitely interested in playing with them - in the tub even - but with his clothes on. He laughs when the water splashes his face and he's intrigued when he puts his hand in the bucket and his whole sleeve comes out wet. We're getting there! We've noticed he's been much more vocal the last few days. Lots of talking, singing, and chattering away. And he's definitely more mobile. He loves being able to explore the apartment at free will. He's fascinated by how things work - how cupboards open and close, how drawers slide in and out, how the washing machine goes around and around, how... how... how... It's a chore keeping up with him!

This morning we had to take him back to the orphanage for a vaccination. We were concerned about what his reaction would be, but he did really well. We only went into the nurse's office, so he didn't see any of his caregivers or the other children. He screamed during the injection, of course, but then bounced right back. We then had to go get his photo taken for his Russian passport and his US and Japanese visas. It's been a busy day and it's not even noon yet!

Today is Day 8 of the 10-day waiting period. On Tuesday, we should be able to get the adoption certificate and start processing his Russian passport and new birth certificate. If all goes as planned, we'll be flying to Moscow on Thursday night.

Here are a couple of pictures of Denis and two of his favorite things:  Arf Arfs (otherwise known as friendly neighborhood dogs) and electronic gadgets with lots of buttons!

Temper Tantrum

We had our first temper tantrum today.

Testing Us

Denis has started testing us the last couple of days. He's trying to figure out what the new rules are and where the new boundaries lie. He loves to be silly so he's trying out his silliness in different places - like the dinner table. We've found that ignoring the behavior works best. Feet on the table aren't so funny if no one's reacting! (We do have to turn our heads from time to time and bite our lips to keep from laughing!) Where do kids learn this stuff anyway? I'm sure he didn't see such behavior at the orphanage. And then there's the almost temper tantrum. He'll put one ear to his shoulder and plop down on the floor with a pouty face when we try to change his course (like when he's headed toward the oven to push all the buttons or open it when it's still hot...). There's no crying or screaming, so I don't think we can call it a full-blown temper tantrum. But it's coming. We can feel it.

We made a bit of progress today with the bath time routine. We filled the bucket half full of water and put in few bath toys. We brought the bucket to the kitchen and set it on the floor. The three of us played with the bucket of wet toys for about a half hour. We let him splash all around so he could get used to getting wet - and he had a great time. He was all giggly and soggy by the time we put the bucket back in the bathroom. He was sad that the fun was over and watched me put the bucket back in the tub. With a pouty look on his face, of course! We'll try to play with the bucket on the bathroom floor tomorrow night (with him in fewer clothes) and then in the tub the next night. He'll be good and smelly by then and ready for a bath! 

Sore Muscles, Laundry, and Pigeons in the Park

So. No one told me that sore muscles were a part of parenthood. My biceps are sore, my legs are sore, even my abs are sore! I guess we didn't get a chance to 'warm up' with an itty bitty infant. Lugging around a solid almost-two-year-old from day one is hard work! But who's complaining?

Nor did anyone really warn me about all the piles of laundry a little person can create. Jon and I usually do two loads of laundry on the weekend - one dark, one light - and that lasts us all week. Clearly, we're going to be on a new washing cycle from here on out...

Last night's bath was different. Not better, just different. This time, instead of sitting in the bath water, we filled a bucket and just tried to pour water over him out of a cup as we shampooed his hair. He still screamed bloody murder, but we figure it has to get better. Right? He slept through most of night again, but did wake up crying at 4:30. We let him sleep in our bed from that point on, and he was great. A bit of a bed-hog, but neither of us can say we minded.

We found pigeons in the park on today's morning walk. A little girl and her dad were feeding them, and Denis enjoyed watching them. We then headed over to the mall to try having a snack in a public place, and he did great. (So, maybe the Midriff Cafe is a possibility!) As we walked around the mall before heading home, he looked in all the windows and wondered what all the bright things were. The mannequins fascinated him the most. He knew there was something a bit different about these people with no real faces...but what could it be? Ah, so much to discover!

Morning routine - dragging out all the toys

An old pro in the stroller!

Pigeons in the park

When Does Reality Hit?

I thought for sure that reality would hit this morning when Denis woke up. I was fully expecting him to wake up in shock when he realized that it wasn’t just a strange dream after all – and that he really did get swept away by those two people. Instead he woke up all smiles! Either reality hasn’t hit yet, or he likes his new reality so much that he isn’t going to fall to pieces on us (doubt we’ll be that lucky!).

We’re amazed at what a good eater he is. A bowl of oatmeal, some banana bread, and half a banana for breakfast. The pumpkin soup at lunch didn’t go over so well, but he was very polite in his refusal (you’re right, Jana, Little D has better table manners than Big J - ha!). We’re going to try pasta tonight. We'll see how that goes.

We had two outings today – one with the stroller and one without. He wasn’t sure what to make of the stroller at first. But he was fine if one of us walked beside him holding his hand while the other one pushed. I guess a stroller must be weird for kids who aren’t used to it – suddenly the adult they’re with disappears behind them! We tried to find some pigeons to feed, but there weren’t any at the park. (Since when aren’t there pigeons in a city park?) For our second outing, we walked to the store to buy more water. He walked most of the way, stopping briefly to Meow! Meow! at a cat and Arf! Arf! at a dog. Oh, and to giggle at a car the pealed out and squealed its tires! (How do little boys instinctively know to laugh at such things?!) It’s been great watching him take everything in. His little eyes are continuously darting around when we’re out and about. So, two outings a day is enough for now. Don’t want to over-stimulate the little guy.

He’s had three four successful Skype sessions so far, believe it or not! One with Grandpa and Granny in Ottawa, another with the Welbi in Kobe, and yet one more with Los Lemleys in Lima. And then there was one more with Aunt ReBecca and Uncle Mike in Toronto (he loved your singing, R!). Denis loved the computer and even waved once or twice to his fans from afar. Too cute! (Grandpa and Grandma in Hickman - we need to get you set up on Skype!)

Ok, time to wake him from his nap. It’s a little past afternoon snack time… and we all remember what happens when D doesn’t get his afternoon snack!

A morning snooze

Again! Again!

First Night with Little D

Here are a couple pictures and video clips of our first night with D. We picked him up from the orphanage in the late afternoon. He knew what was happening and was inconsolable. We had a hard time getting him dressed until his caregiver came in and gave us a hand. He quickly calmed down and then just 'went with it'. We said a quick goodbye to his friend Masha and his caregiver (who blessed him with the sign of the cross and said something about Mama and Papa - a bittersweet moment that I won't soon forget). The ride home went well - he was mesmerized by all the sights and sounds. We think he may have been given a sedative before leaving the orphanage, but we're not sure.

Once back at Yuri's, we played some and ate some and went to bed some. Little D is a great eater! He downed a bowl of potato soup and a plate of chicken in no time. After he finished eating, he handed us the bowl and then the plate, saying something along the lines of "all done" - it was very sweet. After dinner, he stacked books and played the xylophone. He'd peek inside the books briefly, but he was definitely more interested in building with them. Bath time was a disaster but bedtime was effortless. He slept through the night with only a few coughs and cries. Of course, we woke with every sound and made sure he was ok!

Denis and his caregiver

Leaving the orphanage

Dinner time!

Books and Music

Back in a Few...

Everything's going well. We're taking a short break until Feb 3 when we gain official custody of Denis. Check back then! 

The Baltic Sea

Yuri took us to the Baltic Sea today. We went to a small village on the Curonian Spit for a walk along the beach. It reminded us of our trip to Nida, Lithuania back in the days when we first met. In fact, the area that we visited today (the second village from the top on the spit of land heading off the map) must have been only kilometers away from Nida. The houses and villages looked so familiar to us - similar to those we remember seeing in rural Lithuania and Latvia. It was nice to get out of the city for a few hours and feel the cold sea air.

The Midriff Cafe

My days at the Midriff Cafe may be numbered. It's not exactly the kind of place in which one can park a stroller and enjoy a leisurely breakfast (although I am keeping an eye out for that brave parent who will set the precedent). It's too bad, really. Their apple-cinnamon crepes are to die for. And their cappuccino is a creamy cup of goodness. I won't tell you how many times I've eaten breakfast there over the last ten days...let's just say several. In case you're wondering, it's not really called the Midriff Cafe. But it's been so nicknamed in honor of all the beautifully tanned midriffs that greet us each morning.

After breakfast, we headed over to the mall to buy the very stroller we won't be able to park at our favorite cafe...

And then we pushed it back to the apartment. We tried to pull the cover down as low as it would go and the leg warmer up as high as it would go so that people wouldn't think we were strange pushing around an empty stroller!

Court Decision - Yes!

Take Two was a success! The court proceedings went much more smoothly today. After a quick yet thorough inspection of the new documents, the judge moved on to the main topic of discussion - Denis. We were asked how we plan to care for him, how we intend to raise him, and what hopes we have for his future. Jon answered questions for over an hour (!) and I only had speak for about 5 minutes. At the end of it all, the judge gave her approval for us to become the new parents of Denis Dmitriy Schatzky! We still have the 10-day waiting period (a legal formality in case someone wants to appeal her decision) before it's official. We'll find out soon when we can bring Denis 'home' from the orphanage. We're off to celebrate!

Heading to court

Last-minute preparations in the court room

Coming out of the courthouse

A celebratory lunch!

Friday and Other Things

Court has been rescheduled for Friday morning. We’ve been working on all the documents (confirmation of home address coming from Nebraska; new employment contracts coming from Japan; and corrected medical forms coming on an overnight train from Moscow!). Yuri thinks we’re in good shape for Friday. 

Everyone – from Yuri, to our court translator, to our coordinator in the US – was surprised that court went so poorly. Apparently this hasn’t happened in a long time. We think a large part of what went wrong on Monday has to do with a tragic case in the US that involved the death of a child adopted from Russia. Back in July, a man in Virginia somehow forgot to drop his son off at daycare on his way to work. He left the child in the car for 9 hours as he went about his day at the office. Sadly, the child died of heat stroke. The man was recently acquitted of involuntary manslaughter, and Russia is reacting strongly to that court decision. The region from where the little boy was adopted (Kemerovo) has suspended adoptions, and other regions are tightening up their procedures. We’re quite certain that we’re feeling the backlash from this. Kemerovo announced their decision to suspend adoptions just days before our court hearing, and I believe the judge and the prosecutor came into the court room on Monday morning with a different attitude than they normally do. 

Our unique situation involving three different countries and overseas employment makes us stand out as somewhat different. So, hopefully, all they’re doing is tightening up their procedures and making us prove who we are a little more thoroughly. 

We haven’t been able to see Denis over the last few days, and I’m not sure what the plans are for today and tomorrow. Yuri is focused on all the paperwork, which is certainly the priority right now. But if he offers to take us, we’ll gladly go! Somebody asked in the comments how the caregivers are presenting us to Denis. When we’re at the orphanage, they constantly use the words Mama and Papa (whereas during our last trip the word Mama only slipped out a couple of times). We have no idea what – if anything – these words mean to Denis. But we’re fairly sure he knows something is going on. In November, we were just a couple of fun strangers. This time, however, we think he’s picking up on the fact that we’re linked to him somehow. And every time we come around his routine is turned upside down! Poor guy.

We’re keeping ourselves busy exploring more of Kaliningrad and getting some essentials for when Denis joins us here at the apartment. We’re staying at Yuri’s apartment, which we’re quite happy about. It’s in a great location – close to stores, restaurants, cafes, and the center of town. It’s only a block or two away from the hotel where we stayed on our last trip, so we’re familiar with the area. It’s a nice apartment and it’s fully furnished. Beats staying in a hotel for a month!

Below are a few shots we’ve taken around the city (during both trips) as well as a few pictures of Yuri’s apartment. They’re nothing spectacular, but it’ll give you an idea of where we are. 

Thanks for all the comments and emails this week! 

Obama Sworn In

We tuned in to the TV tonight to watch Obama being sworn in. We managed to catch bits and pieces of what was being said when there was a break in the Russian translation. Unless you want to hear the inauguration in Russian, there's really no need to watch the clip below. It's more for us - to remember where we were on this day in history!

Try Again Thursday?

So… court didn’t go well. Three strikes and we were out. 

Strike One: Apparently an American/Canadian couple living in Japan and adopting from Russia is proving to be complicated. Since we are adopting through the US system, all the judge really cared about were our ties to the US (and not Japan). Do you own property in the US? Do you have proof that you own property in the US? Yes, yes! Here, look. This is a certified and notarized and apostilled copy of the deed to our house that we obtained through the proper channels in Lancaster County. It describes our property and names us as the owners. But how big is the house? What does it look like? How many rooms are inside? And what is the exact address, not the lot number? You will need to prepare a new document… 

Strike Two: Our international employment caused concern. Are you employed? Where and for how long? What proof do you have of your employment? Here’s our notarized and apostilled letter of employment stating that we are employed at Canadian Academy until June 2009, and that our contracts are up for renewal on an annual basis thereafter. And here are our contracts for August 2009-June 2010. But are THOSE contracts up for renewal on an annual basis? You will have to prepare another document…

Strike Three: What brought the proceedings to a screeching halt was our recently obtained medical report from Moscow (the report with 8 doctors’ signatures and countless official-looking stamps). When the translator sounded out our last name and wrote it phonetically in Cyrillic, she spelled it Chatzky rather than Schatzky. If only we were more practiced at writing and reading our names in a foreign alphabet, we may have noticed this mistake. I’m sorry, but this is unacceptable. You will have to – yes, we know! – prepare a new document. 

The judge postponed the proceedings until next Monday, at which time we will have to submit all the new documents. However, Yuri believes he can get us another court hearing on Thursday. So, we’ll be busy over the next couple of days requesting and preparing all these new documents. 

It was a rough day, to be sure. We're almost to the point where we're laughing at it all... What else can we do, really? We think all will be well after our next court hearing. We’ll keep you posted. 

Can YOU tell that my name is written incorrectly?

His Very Own Backpack

We had our last official visit with Denis today. It was short and sweet – and he warmed up to us within a few minutes. 

Before leaving Japan, we bought D his very own backpack. We brought it to the orphanage the last three days, and today he finally started getting the hang of it. He would open it (with a little help on the zippers) and take things out one item at a time. Then he’d put everything back in – one item at a time. He eventually figured out that he could dump everything out all at once. Good times! We tried to show him how to wear his backpack, but he just eyed us suspiciously. Why would I want the bag behind me? I can’t open it when it’s back there. Don’t these people know anything? We’ll save that trick for another day!

I’m not sure if we’ll visit Denis on Monday after court or not. Yuri thinks there’s a chance we’ll be taking him ‘home’ with us on Tuesday, the first day of the 10-day waiting period. Fingers crossed!

Music and Movement

We had another rough start today. When we arrived, the kids were having their ‘Music and Movement’ time, and the moment Denis saw us he started to cry. He knew we were there for him, and we think he knows – on some level – that something’s changing. And we’re the ones disrupting his routine (which we now know he doesn’t like at all!). So, when we arrived, the caregivers were going to quit the ‘Music and Movement’ session so that we could have the playroom alone with Denis. This, of course, upset ALL the kids. Everyone started crying and chaos was all about! We insisted that they continue and made it clear that we didn’t want to disrupt any of the regular routines today. So they continued and actually invited us to watch. It was great! We loved catching another glimpse of how D spends his days. However, he was somewhat worried by our presence. He kept glancing back at us and wasn’t sure what to make of us being there.

Today's clip was taken toward the end of the M&M session. Denis decided to put away his ball early so he could go listen to the piano. Maybe we have a musician on our hands!

After the M&M session, Denis was a bit reluctant to play with us. But eventually, he came around. There were two other girls in the room with us and we all had a good time playing together. Soon after, it was time for lunch. Not wanting to get in between D and his food again, we promptly walked him to the dining room. He sat down, was dressed in a bib, and dug in! As we waved good-bye, he got up from his chair and came to tell us that his bread was 'nyum-nyum' which we took to mean yummy. Too cute!

Day One, Trip Two

***Updated! Scroll down if you're interested in more details.

This is going to be short. Jet lag has kicked in and I feel a cold coming on. I’ll write a bit more about today’s visit and add a video clip or two tomorrow, after some much needed sleep. Let me just say two things before I call it a night:

• (1) It was great to see Denis today!
  
• (2) Today’s visit had three distinct parts…

Part One: Feeling Blue

Our first visit started off with a few whimpers and a worried face, much like our first visit in November. But this time Denis had no interest in the toys we brought, the Cheerios we offered, or us. For those of you who have seen Jon with young kids, you know that within 10 seconds of meeting a child, he has the little tyke totally engaged in some sort of silly game or another. But Denis wasn’t biting this time. Not even nibbling. Poor Denis. (Poor Jon!) He did not want to play. He would only let me hold him. He would cling to me with his arms, but squirm and push away from me with his legs. He didn’t want to get down, he didn’t want to walk around, he didn’t want to sit. What did he want? Eventually we heard dishes clinking in the next room and wondered if he was missing out on his snack time. Sure enough, a caregiver came in about that time (3:30) with a plate of apples and cookies and a cup of milk, saying something along the lines of, “Sorry Denis! We forgot your snack.” Little D was so relieved to get his food you could see the worry wash away from his face. Poor kid. We’re still wondering what upset him so much – not getting the food? Or missing out on the routine? Probably a bit of both. 

Part Two: Feeling Better

Apples and cookies and milk. Mmmmm. I didn’t miss snack time, after all… What's the matter with all these people, anyway? Don't my caregivers know that I like to eat snack with everyone else at 3:30? And what are those little round things these funny-talking people want me to eat? Those aren't apples. Don't they know I eat apples at snack time?

Part Three: Feeling Bubbly

After eating his snack and being comforted by one of his caregivers, Denis finally settled down and opened up to us again. He loved the stacking cups and the cubes and had a good time playing with us. By the end of our visit, he was leading me around by the hand. He showed me his bed, took me to the area where all the other kids were playing, and then walked me to the door. He let us kiss him good-bye and gave us a quirky little smile as we left. 

Here are a few video clips (a little over a minute total) of today's snack attack. Lesson learned: Little D does not like to miss out on snack time! 

And another clip (a little over two minutes) of Denis and Jon playing with the building cubes and stacking cups. 

All in all, it was a good visit. I'm glad we got to see a range of emotions today. We didn't see Denis when he's upset the last time we were here. So today we watched carefully to see how his caregivers calmed him down (they did more than just bring in a plate of food!) and what he responded to. We'll do our best to make things as familiar as possible for him - especially at the beginning when so much is going to be new and different.

Medicals in Moscow

We've arrived! All flights were uneventful - just the way we like them. Getting through immigration last night was a piece of cake compared to last time. It still took us a painfully long time to get out of the airport and to our hotel... but never mind. We've slept, showered, and are heading to breakfast. It's a new day! FTIA's Moscow rep, Vasiliy, is picking us up at 10:00 for our medical exams. More on those later. I'm sure they'll be blog-worthy experiences!

Later...

I'm not exactly sure how to describe our medical exams. A formality doesn't quite do it justice. Out of the 8 doctors we were supposed to see, we only saw six. Five, if you want to be technical, since two came in at once - one took my blood pressure and the other took Jon's. One of the doctors never spoke to us or touched us, but hurriedly wrote things down as she eyed us from time to time. She may have been the oncologist or the dermatologist. Who's to know? One doctor checked our reflexes and had us touch our noses (with our eyes closed, to be fair). Another asked us about drug and alcohol use. And, finally, the psychiatrist asked about our hobbies and how we deal with stress. Done. The whole appointment took about an hour and a half, and I'd say actual doctor-patient contact time was less than 20 minutes. Definitely the most painless medical exams we've ever had. The only discomfort being the bargain price of $$$$.

It was actually somewhat of an enjoyable experience as we got to chat with a couple of women (a translator and a medical assistant) for most of the time. They were curious about our lives in Japan, the child we're adopting, and how our holiday celebrations are quite similar to theirs. The doctors themselves were all very nice, professional, and efficient. (And they were all women, I noticed.) When it was time to go, everyone sent us on our way with nothing but best wishes for the future.

And We're Off!

All our bags are packed - we're ready to go! In a few minutes, we'll head over to the Sheraton hotel and catch the 6:30 bus to the airport. The flight to Beijing has been landing more or less on time for the last few weeks (Jon's been checking!), and we're hoping for the same today. We have a tight connection there before catching our flight to Moscow. If all goes well, we'll arrive in Moscow around 4:30PM local time. We'll overnight there and have our 8-doc medical exams tomorrow before flying to K'grad. We'll see Denis on Thursday. I wonder how much he's changed. 

More later!

One Year Ago

One year ago today - January 9 - we mailed our application to Families Thru International Adoption. We had just returned home from our trip to Thailand, where we'd been discussing the possibility of adopting a child. Should we do it? Yes! Russia? Da! Giddy with excitement for what might be coming our way - not to mention a bit daunted by all the paperwork that lie ahead of us - we sent a manila envelope to an office in Evansville, Indiana and entered the world of international adoption.

It's hard to believe that in just a few short days this leg of the journey will come to a close. But lucky for us, a new journey is about to begin. Talk about giddy with excitement!

С Рождеством!

http://en.chinagate.com.cn/photos/2008-12/28/content_17020731.htm

Merry Christmas again! Today is Christmas in Russia (January 7th corresponds to December 25th on the Julian calendar). I wonder what D is doing today. Is the orphanage having a celebration? Did Father Frost and the Snow Maiden (pictured above in St. Petersburg) come for a visit? Or did they come on New Years? It seems I read somewhere that New Years is the bigger holiday. I'll have to read up on Christmas in Russia for next year. It'll be fun to try to incorporate some Russian traditions into our holiday celebrations from here on out. 

Don't you love the picture of Father Frost and the Snow Maiden arriving by helicopter? Who needs reindeer?!

A Room of One's Own

Or perhaps An Aviary of One's Own would be more fitting. Can you spot all the birds in this room?! The cardinal... the cock-of-the-rock... the puffin... the toucan... the red-footed booby? There are birds flying from the ceiling, perched above windows, nesting in baskets... Poor Denis has no chance of not becoming a bird-watcher! (Sorry to force my feathery friends on you so soon, D! But I suppose there are worse things a mother hen could do...) 

It's been fun putting together a room for me him. I love the bright colors, the good books, the fun toys... and the no-frills IKEA furniture! It's a pretty small room and there's a lot packed in there, but I think it's spacious enough for a little tyke. Of course, the cats think it's their room. Little do they know!

O-shogatsu

I'm neither proud nor embarrassed to admit that Jon and I were home by 8:50 last night (after an early dinner in Sannomiya - I think we found the only open restaurant in all of Kobe) and in bed by 11:50. We almost made it until midnight! In our defense, New Year's Eve in Japan isn't quite the same as New Year's Eve in other parts of the world. It's more of a quiet celebration - a reflection on the year that's passed. It's a time for visiting family and gathering at shrines - not for partying into the wee hours of the morning. Which is fine with me. I'm one of those people that has always thought New Year's Eve is a bit over-rated (gasp!). I do, however, love the idea of new beginnings. And 2009 promises to be exactly that...  

We did manage to ring in the new year this evening with some sparkling sake, wasabi covered almonds (purchases from our recent sake walk), and a couple hands of cribbage. Perfect!