A Sign?

Reading YA (Young Adult) books is something that I've liked to do ever since I became a teacher and a librarian. The one I picked up most recently - Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech - caught my eye long ago. I love the picture of the cottage in the woods. I love the idea of a cottage in the woods... Judging this book by its cover, I knew this was a book for me! 

I finally picked up Ruby Holler the other day, wondering what glimpse of the idyllic cottage life this book would give me. I found it ironic...coincidental...serendipitous (what's the word I'm looking for?) that the main characters were two orphans - twins in search of a family and a home. And who should take them in? An odd couple in the woods. She - obsessed with finding a certain bird on a deserted island. He - set upon taking his beat up old boat all the way down the river. 'Wouldn't it be great to have some kids along on these adventures?' the couple wondered. 

Is this a sign?

Sumo, Sewing, and Sightseeing

We went to our first sumo tournament last Friday. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. There are many nuances to everything Japanese, including sumo, so I'm sure there were many things I didn't 'get' while watching the matches. But what I saw, I enjoyed. I loved the way the wrestlers would work the crowd with a gesture, the build up before each match, the throwing of salt, the sweeping of the ring, the parading sponsors (including Hello Kitty!), the leg lifts, the tame uproars from the crowd, the flying tatami cushions over an upset... For a peek into the Japanese culture, watch the video above. It's three minutes long. 

I've been busy sewing this week. We've read that it's a good idea to take a 'transition item' to the orphanage on our first visit to meet our child. This should be an item that our child can hold/use/become familiar with after we leave and throughout the two-three months until we return to pick him up. Ideally, this will be an item that our child will bring with him back to our home. Since it will be a familiar item by that time, it's supposed to help with the transition. I say ideally and supposed to because there are no guarantees that we'll ever see this item again, but I think most people have had good luck with the transition items they've taken for their kids. I thought it would be nice to take a quilt - something useful, something warm, something handmade. I also worked on my Peru quilt this week. I've almost finished my Cock-of-the-Rock block. This was my favorite bird in Peru, and I've captured him on fabric! I'm also hoping to finish the I Spy quilt I started long ago with my mom. More photos linked below. 

We've been getting out and about with our friends Todd and Kirsten and their two kids, Riley and Tess. A couple of weeks ago, we went up Mt. Rokko for a picnic, and this last Friday we went to Kyoto for the day. We had a ramen lunch, visited the Gold Temple (Kinkakuji), and wandered the Nisiki Market.  The week before spring break, we had Japan Days at school.  We were treated to a couple of Japanese performances - Rakugo and Bukaku.  Rakugo is a mixture of story-telling and a comedy act.  It's a one-man performance, and rather than being a stand-up act, the performer is sitting Japanese style with his legs folded underneath him.  A man from Canada, clad in a maple leaf kimono(!) performed (in both English and Japanese) for our students.  He was quite good, and is trying to get an apprenticeship with a Rakugo master in Tokyo. The Bukaku is a Japanese dance typically performed for the imperial family.  Apparently, we were quite fortunate to see this dance, as most people living in Japan never see it performed. The costumes were incredibly elaborate and colorful, and the dances were interesting. I'll try to find some pictures to post. Also during Japan Days, some teachers - and all administrators - dressed in traditional Japanese clothing.  Here's Jon in a kimono - not a bad look!

Click here for more photos.

√ Japanese Police Clearances

We got our Japanese police clearances this week. Feels good to tick those off the list! Still waiting on the document from Latvia. Margaret called the Latvian embassy in Ottawa this week to see if it had arrived. We were hoping that it had since the diplomatic pouch had just come in from Riga, but no such luck. Apparently more mail is coming next week, so our fingers are crossed. Thanks for calling, Margaret!

Spring Break = Spring Cleaning

We've decided to use our spring break as a time for spring cleaning. We're cleaning up all our random blogs and web sites that we never use and are going to start posting everything under this blog. So, this is now going to become a random Schatzky blog, rather than an adoption-specific blog. We're better random, anyway. 

I've started by organizing some pictures of our apartment. For those of you who haven't seen pictures of our place, click here. I like seeing the progression of moving into a place and making it home. Next, I'll post some pictures of the Japan we've seen so far.

Nothing new to report on the adoption front. We should be able to pick up our Japanese police clearances this week. No word from Latvia.

One and 1/2 documents to go!

We're down to one (Jon's police clearance from Latvia) and 1/2 (our Japanese police clearances) documents before our home study is complete. We went to the Hyogo Prefectural Police Headquarters today and were fingerprinted by a slick electronic machine (so modern and so Japanese - no sticky black ink pads there!). We were told that our police clearance certificates will be ready between March 24-28.  I call that '1/2' of a document because I know it's actually in the works. As opposed to the Latvian police clearance... we have no idea what, if anything, is happening with that document. Jon emailed the Latvian embassy to check on the status of his report, and the embassy told him that they have no way of tracking its status. So, we can only hope that it's really in the works. By our count, it's still a full outstanding document. Come on, Latvia!

We're still no further with our decision in regards to a sibling group or one child.  Jon wants to adopt two. And while I love the idea of siblings, I'm looking at the practicality of it all. Are we ready for two kids? Can we adequately meet the needs of two kids who come to us at the same time? The more we read about adopting toddlers who haven't had the best beginning in life, the more we recognize the importance of one of us establishing ourselves as the primary caregiver. We are supposed to put off child care and any other form of 'institutional life' for as long as possible. I will be the one to stay home with our child(ren) for as long as we can afford, while Jon will continue working. That means a great deal of the adjustment period, with all of the bonding and attachment techniques we've learned to use, will take place with one parent - me. Not only am I a bit concerned about my ability to handle this with two kids, I'm also concerned that Jon won't be getting enough of this crucial time with our child(ren). I'm sure this a concern of many families - both bio and adopted - around the world, and everything seems to work out in the end. We've just waited a long time for this, and I want to make sure we make the 'right' decision. Can somebody please tell me what that is?!

Home Visit Completed

We had our home visit this weekend.  Megan McGinn, our social worker, arrived from Hong Kong on Friday afternoon, and we met with her that evening to go over the documents we've collected thus far. We're only waiting on a few more items - the police clearances from Latvia, Lithuania, and Japan - all of which are in the works. Once those documents arrive, she can complete her report. After going over the documents, we went out for dinner at our favorite okonomiyaki restaurant to continue our discussion of all things adoption. We both found Megan easy to talk to and were appreciative of her informal approach to the home visit. We all ordered a beer (much to Jon's relief, as it was a Friday night!) and immediately started chatting away. We were very open about our hopes and reservations regarding adoption, and she answered our questions candidly and honestly.  

On Saturday, we met at our apartment from 9:00 AM until 4:00 PM. Megan took a quick tour of our place, looking for smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, and other safety features. She asked how we plan to baby/toddler-proof our apartment, and what our plans are for sleeping arrangements. Do we plan to use a 'family bed' where all of us sleep together? Will we sleep in our child's room at first and gradually decrease the amount of time we are in his room each night? Or will we just go 'cold turkey' and put him in the room alone on the first night home? She wasn't expecting an answer, but just wanted us to start thinking about this. Apparently, sleep is one of the things during the transition period (from the orphanage to the new home) that can cause the most difficulties for newly adoptive families. I think we'll probably start somewhere in the middle by spending time in our child's room until he falls asleep, and then go from there. But it's so hard to say at this point. We'll have to wait and see what our child's needs are and then do what we think is best. One thing I've read is that adoptive parents shouldn't be worried about forming 'bad habits' during the transition period. Apparently, we're supposed to do whatever it takes to make the child feel calm and comfortable in his new surroundings, and then start working on the routines that we feel will be best for us as a family.

We also talked about our adoption preferences  in regards to gender and number. We're still open in regards to gender, but we can't seem to decide whether we want to adopt a sibling group or one child. If we want to adopt a sibling group, we need to be open to an age range of 8 months - 3 years, unless we choose to wait for twins that are between 8-18 months. We love the idea of siblings, but have reservations when it comes to adopting an 'older' child. Will we be able to give this child what he needs in order to make up for time/opportunities lost? Will we be able to help him overcome any negative or abusive experiences he's already endured in his short life? And what about the challenges of suddenly having two kids, regardless of age or issues, as first-time parents? Luckily, we have a bit more time to think about this, but we'll need to let Megan know by the time our other documents arrive so that she can write up her report.

We discussed many other topics with Megan, some of which I'll reflect on later.  Right now, I think I need an adoption break!

If you're wondering what okonomiyaki is, here's a picture. Basically, it's a cabbage and noodle pancake, filled with shrimp or squid or other ingredients of your choice, smothered in mayonnaise and topped with fish flakes. It sounds a bit strange, but it's quite good! Especially with a cold Asahi on a Friday night...

Moving Along...

We finally finished our autobiographies (23 pages each by the time we answered all the questions!), notarized some of our documents (for a mere $500!), and have scheduled our home visit for the weekend of March 1st. Our social worker will come from Hong Kong and meet with us on Friday afternoon and most of Saturday. After she writes up her report, we will submit a copy to the US Citizenship & Immigration Services and to our adoption agency, along with all the other documents that make up our dossier. Once the USCIS approves us for adoption, and our agency translates our dossier into Russian, the wait will begin.  

Lost in Translation

We're finding that some documents are easier to come by than others...and some of those others are virtually impossible to get our hands on. For some, all we've had to do is make a quick phone call or send a brief email explaining what we need and why we need it, and voilá! This week, however, that good fortune seemed to run out. For anyone who's seen the movie Lost in Translation with Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson, you'll know what I mean when I say that that sums up our experience this week. I'm not sure what we were thinking going after all the documents from the US, Canada, Lithuania, Latvia, and Peru first and leaving the documents from Japan for last. Actually, I do know what we were thinking - since we no longer live in any of those other places, all of this hunting and gathering of documents from a distance would surely take a lot of time and careful negotiations. And since we're here in Japan, and can visit the necessary offices in person, those documents, certainly, will be much easier to obtain. Apparently, that's where we went wrong. The documents from outside Japan are starting to trickle in at a steady pace, and those that are here in Japan, well, they're going to remain lost in translation for a while longer it seems. Bill Murray's character Bob says, "It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids." Is this what he meant?!  

  

Chasing Paper

We were officially approved for FTIA's Russia program earlier this week. Since then, we have been trying to gather documents from six countries - Lithuania, Latvia, Peru, Japan, the US, and Canada. Needless to say, it has been interesting. We need birth certificates, marriage licenses, police clearances, you name it! Most of these documents need to be notarized, apostilled, and authenticated before being sent to FTIA for our dossier. Luckily, everyone we've contacted so far - our case worker in the US, our social worker in Hong Kong, and government employees from all the countries mentioned above - have been more than helpful. Hopefully, it won't take us too long to gather all the necessary documents and complete our home study. Our goal is to have this part of the process completed by March 21.

Year of the RAT!

2008 is the year of the RAT - the year of our Russian Adoption Tale!

Yes, we're adopting! We have decided to adopt a child (or a sibling group of two) from Russia, and this blog will be a record of that experience. We are at the very beginning of the process, and realize we have a ways to go before we become a family of three...or four.

We have just sent in our application to Families Thru International Adoption (FTIA), an international adoption agency located in Evansville, Indiana. We chose this agency based on its successful program in Russia and the fact that it comes highly recommended from others who have adopted with FTIA in the past. Oh yeah, and it was one of the few agencies willing to work with expatriate couples of dual nationality!

Why Russia? After researching different countries that are currently placing children with adoptive families from abroad, Russia has everything we are looking for - a relatively short waiting time (we hope to be placed with a child before Christmas 2008), a long history of international adoptions, and young children who will blend into our family with ease.

The process includes the following steps: (1) completing a home study and submitting our dossier, (2) receiving a referral or an invitation to travel, (3) traveling to Russia to meet our potential child, (4) accepting a referral, (5) waiting for a court date, and (6) returning to Russia to bring our child home. Step 1 will most likely take the longest, as it requires gathering and authenticating several documents, meeting with a social worker, and relying on others to pass along our paperwork in a timely manner. After our dossier is submitted, we should receive a referral or an invitation to travel within 2-5 months. Since we haven't specified a gender, our wait could be shorter. Apparently, many families have received referrals for a boy in less than two months. After our first trip to Russia, we will return to Japan to wait for our court date. This tends to be about 2-3 months after the first trip. On the short end, we could be looking at 6 months to completion. However, we realize it will probably take closer to 9 months to complete the adoption.

We'll keep you posted!